Posts Tagged ‘Valentines Day’

A Valentines Weekend Wish…

Friday, February 12th, 2016

Here is something to be “for” this Valentines Day weekend.  Something we can be. But first the challenge…

The original shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all.

Instead we live out of all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the wind’s weather. (Frederick Buechner)

So the problem is that we often live from our “other selves.”  What then is the solution?

To see in each other, to see in our loved one, to see as God sees “the original shimmering self.”   Just see it.  Despite appearances to the contrary.

Your loved one will notice.

Happy Valentines Day.

Blessings on Valentine’s Day! (And some thoughts on marriage)

Friday, February 14th, 2014

We wish all of you a blessed Valentine’s Day!

As a Pastor, and as someone married for 26 years, I have experienced large parts of the journey of marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Since ordination, I have walked those very same steps with many couples, from joyous weddings, through painful challenges, even through divorce.   I remember officiating at a wedding and noting in the charge that marriage moves through seasons, one of which will be not feeling in love.  The bride very quietly whispered to her groom, “That won’t be me.”  I would imagine, with a smile, all these years later she no doubt would change what she said.

So what can remain the same in the often tumultuous reality of marriage?

I think this is what can remain the same …

  1. We are always free to offer our best intentions on God’s behalf.  My intentions are more often than not, to put it kindly, limited.  But my best God-given intentions, often buried beneath my own hurts and neediness, are there.  God is the one who reminds me those best of intentions hold the most significant offerings I can bring to our marriage.
  2. We are always free to ask God’s help and the help of others in finding perspective.  There is a way in which when we can step back, problems, even dire ones, gain more manageable proportions.  We need others, not others who will agree with us no matter what, but others who will help us develop the more rounded, less harsh perspective within which marriage thrives.
  3. We are always free to love.  Some days that freedom looks like a non-reaction.  Other days it looks like forgiveness.  Some days a gift.  Other days passion.  But while I may not be able to choose feeling in love, I am always free to choose whether or not to be loving.

Our endeavor towards these three things is imperfect at best.  But that is why marriage presents us with the incredible opportunity to grow … to grow as individuals and to grow together.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

That’s the miracle love lets you say: I am chosen.

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

Honoring relationship, honoring the words, “You took your life – and took a chance on me. You took your one whole, wild life and took your chance on me. That’s the miracle that rents the sky, that explodes a heart – that you chose me. That’s the miracle love lets you say: I am chosen.”  (Anne Voscamp)

There is nothing easy about love.  We often forfeit the real in pursuit of mirage, the imitation of love that may taste sweet but lasts a day.  Sitting in the awe of having chosen and having been chosen, that is where the spirit, and the soul, and the love, and the relationship spill together.  Where God forms a mirror of His love, His choice, for us with our love, our choice for our beloved. In decision to create and to love, a symmetry.

That is a blessed place to hold this Valentines Day. Not in the place of the ever-present disappointments of two egos unable to merge but in the place of two angels, having chosen.