Posts Tagged ‘Self Esteem’

The Endless Search for Self Esteem

Thursday, August 20th, 2015

We search endlessly for self esteem.  Endlessly desiring to finally feel good about ourselves.  And I am unsure if we ever arrive.

For many the pursuit of feeling good about oneself can lead to an even more endless pursuit to find more and more distracting entertainments.  A short term fix of an experiential high.   Don’t feel good about yourself?  Find a parade, a carival with lights and noise (and of course funnel cake!:-)) THEN we will feel good about ourselves.

For those who crave entertainment … and funnel cake … it doesn’t work beyond the slivers of times when the entertainment briefly overshadows the consistent, dull drumbeat of self doubt.  And then there we are, again. In all our self loathing wonder.

I think this.  I think the question of self esteem must eventually die.  Must eventually go.  That does not mean the answer lies in misery, a misery that can be just as addictive as entertainment.

And how does the question die?  It dies over time, over a long time, as we settle into the deepest sanctuary of who we are in God. For me, I find that in stillness. From a center or Center that just is.

And in some odd, I-don’t-have-words-for-it way, I suspect that we find it as we look at others that way … right to the center/ Center of their being and so ours. Seeing beyond their doubts and confusions. Resisting the understandable urge to distract them with the shiny trinkets of our culture as a false fix.  And simply see.  Simply see them.  Simply see them as an angel.  Simply see them as they are.  Made in the image and likeness of God.

It will save you a lot of money in carnival tickets.

A Hole That Might Just Not Get Filled

Friday, July 31st, 2015

Self Esteem is a hole that might just not get filled.  Ever.

We continue to dump more and more into it.  But the “bottom is out of the bucket” so to speak.  Lot of filling but no filling at the same time.

I think these words by Father Richard Rohr however offer a critical shift….

John of the Cross [author of "The Dark Night of the Soul] understood the true meaning of humility, which is not self-deprecation or low self-esteem, but a simple acknowledgment that I am very small, quickly passing, and insignificant as a separate self. That is just objective truth. Our dignity and sacredness precisely comes from our connection. With this deep and experienced and inherent connection, John was free to rest in a union that could not be taken from him.

So we find self esteem far differently than how we imagined.  We find it through connection.  Through connection with God and others, connections through which we find our true selves.  And a miracle – that kind of “finding” comes because we are not actually looking any more!  The self esteem question now asleep.  We are too busy joyously connecting to give the question time anymore.   And we know this: “The Lord is present with you the moment you start to love the neighbor.” (Secrets of Heaven 904)