Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Thinking about Thinking in a New Way

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Thinking is our friend … and it isn’t.  Thinking is our friend when it helps us to serve wisely.  Thinking is not our friend when it is…

  1. Obsessive
  2. Compulsive
  3. Angry
  4. Self Justifying
  5. Self Loathing

Thinking can be … and consider this carefully … self-indulgent fantasy.

What if… what if we took time to choose?  Time to consider?  Time to get the choice? And here is the choice.  Am I thinking from fear or Am I thinking from love?

If we think from fear, fear will race out and grab all sorts of “evidence” to justify itself.  A sunny day becomes anything but.  An unnoticed comment becomes “evidence” of callous disregard.  An ask for help becomes “evidence” of nagging complaint.

If we think from love we will experience different outcomes even though life events may well remain largely unchanged. See love will find it own its “evidence” as well but this “evidence” more aligns with the simplest of all formulations: “These three things remain – faith, hope, and love.  And the greatest of these is love.”

Simple.  Please.  Lets all see each other from love.  Not from fear.

“Perfect love drives out fear.”  Thank you God!



















Moving from “Grey Water” to Fine Wine

Friday, February 25th, 2011

In discussing the challenges of moving from “grey water” to “fine wine” the question becomes, “How do we do it?”

First, what is the challenge?  The challenge centers on moving our intimate relationships from the “grey water” of simple maintenance into a place of the best of what a loving relationship offers.

That is a hard threshold to pass through.  Maybe, one possible way to view it is to look at what holds us back.  And one possibility is the idea of “perfection.”  There is a way in which couples and friends who are deeply connected appear to have moved beyond needing the other to be perfect.  They manage to dismiss areas dominated by our impoverished selves and to celebrate areas of true strength.

New Church theology is clear – the concept of “fault” unnecessarily complicates the vicissitudes of  life.  Restated, the ups and downs of relationships won’t kill us.  It is the application of “blame” and “fault” that will.   Blame and fault often are simply the ego’s attempt to control – an attempt growing out of a selfishness loved concerned only with the individual’s agenda.

I look forward to hearing what Mary Ellen and Paul Mundy – married 50 years – have to share this week.  I know most of us I imagine are still in the “grey water.”  I know a blessed few who appear to really be in the fine wine time.  It will be fun to celebrate it!