Posts Tagged ‘Conjugial Love’

Is There Marriage In Heaven?

Friday, August 5th, 2016

I officiate at a lot of weddings.  A beautiful part of this work.  A marker of a young congregation.

And one thought – marriage can be an eternal blessing. It can last.  It is why we define marriage simply… two angels walking each other home.

That is not to sound cute.  A great deal of work there actually because it means we are called to make decisions with a much longer time frame than we usually do.

The concept of an eternal marriage – the broader concept of time – also provides room.  Room for growth.  Room for mistakes.  Room for change.

Does it mean that every marriage finds a renewed life in heaven? No.  Some marriages don’t. If partners are miserable, hard to see the blessing there.  However….

For people who desire true married love, the Lord provides a partner, and if they are not found in this life, He provides them in heaven. (Married Love 229)

That is beautiful.  There is indeed a “Happily Ever After.”  If not now, then.  And we can build it even in the storms of life.

Every human marriage has crisis times, moments of truth when one partner or both is tempted to give up.  Older married couples will admit that during these times they questioned the entire relationship.  Now, though, they retell the stories with humor and even nostalgia, for crises fit together into – indeed they helped form – a pattern of love and trust… The couple’s mutual response to stormy times was what gave their marriage its enduring strength. Phillip Yancy



Moving from “Grey Water” to Fine Wine

Friday, February 25th, 2011

In discussing the challenges of moving from “grey water” to “fine wine” the question becomes, “How do we do it?”

First, what is the challenge?  The challenge centers on moving our intimate relationships from the “grey water” of simple maintenance into a place of the best of what a loving relationship offers.

That is a hard threshold to pass through.  Maybe, one possible way to view it is to look at what holds us back.  And one possibility is the idea of “perfection.”  There is a way in which couples and friends who are deeply connected appear to have moved beyond needing the other to be perfect.  They manage to dismiss areas dominated by our impoverished selves and to celebrate areas of true strength.

New Church theology is clear – the concept of “fault” unnecessarily complicates the vicissitudes of  life.  Restated, the ups and downs of relationships won’t kill us.  It is the application of “blame” and “fault” that will.   Blame and fault often are simply the ego’s attempt to control – an attempt growing out of a selfishness loved concerned only with the individual’s agenda.

I look forward to hearing what Mary Ellen and Paul Mundy – married 50 years – have to share this week.  I know most of us I imagine are still in the “grey water.”  I know a blessed few who appear to really be in the fine wine time.  It will be fun to celebrate it!