Posts Tagged ‘Complaints’

Always an opportunity to ….

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

There are always opportunities to complain or blame.  The two actually create fine bed fellows.

And there is always an opportunity to choose otherwise.  To compliment or commend.

It is not that in choosing the later we willfully ignore behavior that is toxic or hurtful.   It means however that we make a willful choice not to live there.

A New Form of Music In Your Restaurant Bathroom

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

I read recently of a restaurant in San Diego that plays voice-overs in their bathrooms that feature complaints from “Yelp.”  That brought a smile!  (Article)

Complaints are part of life.  They certainly certainly play their role in church world.  In so many areas of life we navigate delicately between the two islands of anger and apathy.  Anger: Hearing constantly about this particular form of worship being “evil” or that person needing to be “set straight.” Apathy: Hearing constantly from people who are ABOUT to get involved, who will get involved WHEN YOU … (fill in the blank) but who, even when the blank is filled do little.

And what is our job?  Not to let the anger or apathy of others overtake our vision and direction.  In other words, we can never become what we struggle against.  Those islands are little more than mirages, the shouts little more than siren songs.  As Emanuel Swedenborg so aptly pointed out, “Goodness is the soul of truth.”  That means anger and apathy aren’t.

I Love You Because We Hate the Same Stuff

Sunday, July 29th, 2012

Is life based on a certain fundamental acceptance or a certain fundamental rejection?

Very easy to live in the second.  It is simple. It is comforting.  It allows our ego to remain sheltered – unquestioned, unchallenged and intact. Rejection masquerades as strength, as virtue.  As a result, relationships built in that fashion take far more from shared hatreds than shared loves. (Quick exercise: Is there a relationship in your life where if you did not share complaints, there would be nothing to share?)

The first – to live with fundamental acceptance – is the call.  This is beyond “tolerance” – a buzz word in much of American culture.  I tolerate when my wife serves me asparagus.  Underlying that is a certain, “I disdain this but I am grudgingly willing to …(fill in the blank)”   However acceptance rids us, over time, of that foundational disdain and all the judgments attached to it.

That is a lesson for religious folks and non-religious folks. If foundational rejection is fundamental disdain, what is the alternative world created by foundational acceptance?  That is a world that takes courage in the true sense – a living in and from our heart.   There are better ways to build the world than on hatred of the same stuff.