Archive for July, 2018

Not about Shaming or Lock-step Agreement but about Goodwill

Thursday, July 12th, 2018

There are many days where I yearn to totally unplug, to disconnect, to go back to the time before social media existed.

Where ideology trumps facts, where outrage outraces reasoned discourse, where hurt feelings gain more oxygen than loving compassion, it can feel rather hopeless at times to believe that the art of real conversation is not forever lost.

But we choose right.  We can choose how much to engage or not.  How to converse. Powerful words from Seth Godin…

Shaming a person is a senseless shortcut. When we say to someone, “you’re never going to amount to anything,” when we act like we want to lock them up and throw away the key, when we conflate the behavior with the human–we’ve hurt everyone. We’ve killed dreams, eliminated possibility and broken any chance for a connection.

The alternative is to be really clear about which behavior crossed the line. To correct that behavior at the very same time we open the door for our fellow citizen to become the sort of person we’d like to engage with.

That is what many of us desire I imagine … an “opening” where the others (or ourselves) are given the space to become the sort of person we would like to engage with.

An unfolding conversation then, not about shaming or lock-step agreement, but about goodwill.